Pursued By A Bear

On Running...

Oh, friends. I'm not a jock in the traditional sense of the word.  

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It's time for me to admit that.

I renewed my NYRR membership for 2012 and went shoe-shopping with Fred over the holidays. However, I didn't buy any new shoes and I couldn't figure out why I didn't care very much about having my gait analyzed again.

Meh....?

I did my nine qualifying races last year. Well, seven - to my relief, two races were cancelled due to extreme weather. I received credit for them, anyway.

Technically, I am eligible to run the NYC Marathon in November.  Except, I couldn't be less interested.

Sorry, Fred.

Running hurts.

I can't run more than 4 miles without a nagging pain in the side of my right knee that I'm not okay with ignoring. Furthermore, I can't break a 10 minute mile.  I've really pushed and I just can't do it!  I've been running for 15 months now and I'm not getting better; I'm just getting injured. Today, I went back into training for a few NYRR races that are coming up...and I bruised my heel. Hard. I only ran 2 miles - and now I'm limping!

I don't like running in the cold.  I don't like running in the heat.

I do like the "atmosphere" of the races, but I don't like running in them. I've tried to get into it because Fred's into it and we like doing lots of things together, but this one isn't such a great fit. I feel like I hold him back when we run together. 

The only race I liked last year was the New Year's Eve midnight run. I'd be fine if that's one of the only races I do in a year. I can rally for a 3 miler -- you know, maybe two or three (max) just for fun.

I have so much on my plate right now and I am thinking about just BAGGING IT with the running this year.

Over the Christmas holiday, I concentrated on pilates and yoga. (DVD programs. Self discipline! Woo!) It felt good. My muscles felt long and solid. I went back to dance class last week and felt really strong! YEAH! Two great workouts, challenging me both physically and artistically. I was planning on going back to dance class tonight, but the pain in my heel is horrible. I sabotaged my ability do something beautiful by plop-plop-plopping on the treadmill this morning.  GAH. 

Then there's the Y.

I get a free membership because Fred's on active duty.  I think it is a great perk, but I live in NYC and it's a time suck for me.  Maybe it works well for military spouses with cars out in suburbia...but it's more trouble than benefit for me. Sadly. My life schedule doesn't work with 90% of the classes offered. I am required to swipe my card at the front desk at least 8 times a month in order to maintain my membership. However, with my travel and rehearsal schedule, I just don't have the time to take the 4/5 down to Union square, workout, and then travel back uptown. That's at least three hours out of my life.

I really liked the challenge of the swimming lessons (the main reason why we joined that Y, specifically.) but I've never been able to complete a full 8 week class session because they either start before the end of my work day or so late in the evening that I get home at 11pm.  

The cats do NOT like being left home alone for all-day/all-night, I tell you whut.

Basically, I use the Y to run my lines. Yep, on the treadmill. I prefer to memorize in rehearsal, but if a director wants me to get off book super early (or if I have to pull something together for an audition), I memorize really well - for some reason -  by running on the treadmill.

BUT --

I have treadmill access at the gym at my workplace. If I quit the Y, I still have a free treadmill for line memorizing...and I don't have to deal with travel time that I can't spare right now.

I'm sitting at my desk at home right now with a bag of frozen peas under my left foot and I'm all, "Decisions, Decisions..." 

Here's what's what in 2012:

I am in grad school

I work 30 hours a week

I maintain a long distance marriage

I serve on the Board of a non-profit theater company

I am an Artistic Associate at a commercial theater company

I am on the producing team at church

I am doing a reading of King Lear in February

I am about to go into rehearsal for Pericles, Prince of Tyre

I am in a bible study that has at least 30 minutes of homework per day

I am about to start studying voice again

I sometimes go on auditions

I read and write in my "free time"

...and I want to go to dance class. WHEW!

So....I think I need to let the "jock" stuff go.

My body really just wants to go back to doing  this:

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For whom the bell tolls...

The day after I arrived in Germany, we took the train to Cologne to go to the Chrismas market and check out the big cathedral.  We've driven by it many times, and I was curious to go inside.

So, here we go!

 509 steps to the top of the belfry. It all starts here:

There are three sets of stairs up to the top.  We'll get to the 2nd and 3rd set later in this blog. This set looks inoffensive, right? Except that you have to hug the inner wall when you run into people going DOWN the stairs. The stairs are pretty narrow. Luckily, we didn't have to do that very much.

(My friend Catherine did this climb in the Summer and she said that she pretty much hugged the inner wall the entire time and that it was also very hot and smelled like sweaty people the entire time. Merit badge to Catherine -- I don't know if I could have done this climb under those circumstances. I'm not a fan of crowds or hot or small spaces. A triumvirate might have sent me over the edge.)

About half way up the tower, you have the option of going into the space that holds all the bells. Fred really likes bells.

You know what Fred also likes? Starting random conversations with guards.  

Sometimes, I'm like,

"Don't bother the guards! They're WORKING."

But the guard in this bell tower was bored and didn't mind visiting with us. He told us that a small bell goes off every 15 minutes and if we hang around just a few more minutes (until 10:45am), we'd be there when it rang. 

We decided to wait.  At 10:45am, the bell clanged three times.

Fred: "Hey!  What will happen on the hour?" 

Me: "Well, maybe it could ring four times...?"

Fred: "Let's stay up here and find out!"

Me: "Um...really?"

I'll just say this about that: we have got to stop going on road trips the very next day after I land in Germany. I usually fly to Frankfurt overnight and I can't sleep a damn wink when I travel.

I am so jet-lagged in this clip:

 

You guys.  Because Jesus wants me for a sunbeam (/sarcasm), we stood in that bell tower for fifteen minutes until the bells went off again. It was cold. You can see my breath. I'm giggly because I am so sleep-deprived:

 

"OOO! BONUS!"

(I just love Fred's reaction to the surprise bells)

Part II of the belfry climb involves an open room with a ceiling at least 200 feet high and some scary scaffolding stairs that went up into...OH MY GOD...where?!

It snowed the night before. Those "windows" don't have glass panes. The metal stairs were full of snow and (in my opinion) too dangerous to climb!

I got up three stair sets: my muscles were trembling and my heart was beating fast and this is how the conversation went: 

Erin: "Okay. I think I'm done."

Fred: "NO. I won't let you get this far and give up."

Erin: "BUT - snowy stairs! I'm scared!"

Fred: "Pretend you are on The Amazing Race. You must climb!"

Look at the snow on the stairs!

I KNOW!!

They would never let you climb wet, snowy, rickety metal stairs in America. They just WOULDN'T.

(whoever "they" are -- but you know what I mean.)

The platform was shaking as a gaggle of teenaged boys scrambled past me, followed by a woman with a baby on her hip. She was climbing the snowy stairs by holding the baby with one arm and holding the handrail with the other.

"Oh, you are very brave!" I said to her as she passed me.

"...Or very silly!" she replied happily with a crisp British accent.

I decided that if she could climb with the baby, I could do it, too.

I tried not to look down and I was all, "La, La, La -- just climbing stairs, that's all!" until I finally made it to the ceiling...

...only to discover that wasn't the end of it. Part III of the belfry climb is a little metal spiral staircase -- like the kind you find on a ship or backstage. The kind that usually lead to a cat-walk and, you know, are mesh-y and grid-like? Steps that YOU CAN SEE THRU all the way to the ground?

Did I mention that I find HEIGHTS terrifying?!

No, I didn't pull out my camera to take a picture at this point. It was seriously All Hands On Deck for me.

At the top of those stairs, we found ourselves OUTSIDE, spilling out onto a caged-in walking deck at the base of the steeple.

WHAT.

Our effort was rewarded with a stunning view of Cologne:

If you are feeling super nerdy (or you are sitting at work today and have NUTHIN' GOIN' ON) you can read about the Kolner Dom HERE. It is a really beautiful church. I know it's so Amurrrican for me to say this, but I am awed by things that are built over the centuries, staring in the mid 1200s. 1200s!

Inside the church, you walk by all these plaques and it's like,

"Here Lies Bishop Phillip VIX. Died 1380"

...and it's very humbling. 

Also, I love that all the European churches have "mascot" relics. We don't really have those, do we? At least, none of the churches I've ever been to (which is to say, mostly heavily carpeted and technofied "Rock Fer Jesus" mega-churches...)

Can you even imagine?  

On Christmas day, we went to a church in Trier that has the seamless robe of Christ. My favorite cathedral, in Brugge, has the blood of Christ. This church has the bones of the Magi. The pamphlet I picked up at the front of the church says that inside the sarcophagus, the skulls have been crowned in honor of the fact that they were the three kings that visited the lil' baby Jay-sus (although who knows if that's really true...)

Are you sufficiently creeped out by that?

You're welcome.

I don't know why I find relics so fascinating. I mean, can these things be proved? I don't...I don't think so. But, if I have the chance to see a big gold box that reportedly houses the finger of an apostle, I'm always game to give it gander.

What church relics have you seen?

To Blonde....or not to Blonde?

I've been wanting a change lately. I started coloring my hair when I was 16 and hadn't ever stopped until just a few years ago.  Curious about what my "real" color is now that I am an adult, I stopped coloring it.  

(Answer: Brown)

Here's how I spent most of my 20s:

Lovely, yes?  My mom and Fredster are both big fans of The Blonde.

However, I am not a fan of roots.  Maintaining this color is a major commitment, both in time and money.

But I do like it. It's very similar to the shade of my hair in childhood:

The "Childhood Blonde" -- it is magnificent, non?

(P.S. Thirty years later, I still have that damn cowlick in my bangs)

(P.P.S. Yes, my mom made me a Tom & Jerry cake. HOW RAD IS THAT?)

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What do we say to going blonde again after this seven year exploration of red and brown?

The "Pros"

1. It's pretty. 

2. It could put me in a different casting realm in my acting career.

3. I don't have grey hair yet, but when I do - it'll be less noticeable.

The "Cons"

1. It's expensive.

2. I hate it when a girl with highlights pulls her hair back into a ponytail and you can see all an inch or more of dark roots. I just don't like it. It bothers me.

3. I'll have to get new headshots. (...but - honestly - I want new headshots. I can't really count this as a Con except that it's a whole day out of my life and a 1k expense to get "That One Shot" - Oh, getting the new headshot is such an ordeal.)

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I've had a good run at being brunette.  I've felt super smart and sometimes edgier than I ever did as a blonde. I started a company as a brunette. Smarty! But now I've passed a lot of the responsibilities of the company off to a new team of people. I'm going back to school and I'm going to be auditioning more in 2012.

I recently had a one-on-one coaching session with Jackson Gay. She says I should definitely be going out for those tightly-wound WASP roles -- like in Reza's "God of Carnage", La Bute's "The Mercy Seat", Lindsay-Abaire's "The Rabbit Hole". 

Jackson: "Are you familiar with August: Osage County?"

Me: "Oh my God, that's one of my dream plays! I can't wait to play any of the sister roles.  All great parts!"

Jackson: "You should be auditioning for those roles. I just directed that show at the Alley and the actress playing Karen was 32 in real life."

Me: "But in the script, (author) Letts has the youngest daughter at age 40!"

Jaskson: "No offense...? You should start going in for roles in the 35 - 45 range."

Me: "Ouch..."

Jackson: "You are still on the young side, but the 25 - 35 range doesn't fit your vibe."

What she means by that is that I'm not really so much in a place where I am grappling with the questions in my life anymore. I'm more about dealing with the stuff that's already there. It's a gravity shift.

I'm really glad for it, actually.

I'm kind of curious about the kind of woman I could be as a blonde (again) now that I am close to my 40s -- eek. In my 20s, when I was a blonde, I was rather manipulative. In my 30s, with red and brown hair, I grew to be a fairly direct person.

I don't give 100% of the credit in my personality shift to my hair color -- BUT when I was a blonde and people spoke to me like I was a little plaything, my inner response was, "Fine. I'll give you that...just don't be too shocked when you figure out that I'm using you as a stepping stone to my Next Big Thing."

I feel like people have spoken to me more directly and expect me to be more intellectual as a brunette -- has this caused me to respond in a way that is direct and intelligent?

Or is this just the way my life path worked out...? I was selfish and opportunistic in my 20s but then grew to a place in my 30s where I found some solid ground...?

Tricky. Hard to say. 

SO --

What do you think. I'm totally up for change.

I WANT SOMETHING BIG FOR MY LIFE.*

Shall I start with the hairs?

(*Calm down. I don't mean a baby.) 

Manicure and Mishmosh

Here it is, the last manicure of 2011:

Opi's "My Chihuahua Bites"

I chose this color for this week because I am committed to four holiday parties. I wish Fred was here to go to them with me.

Why the "chihuahua"...?  Well, I am not a fan of little dogs. When Fred and I were dating back in 2004, we got into a conversation about childhood pets.

Fred was all,

"Act-shlee, Ah ha-yave fo dawgs at mah parrrrents howse."

(he had a pronounced Texas drawl back then)

I was all,

"Oh! What kinds?"

And he said,

"A chihuahua an' 3 rat terriers."

And then I was like:

"...Hmmm. Well. Together, they almost equal one real dog."

(My rat terrier does not bite. Just growls a little.)
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Here's the mishmosh part of my blog today:

You guys are hard to figure out! I'm looking at my stats and I can tell that you know I don't blog on weekends. My "hits counter" goes down to, like, NUTHIN' on the weekends. (Yay! My readers obviously know how to get a life! They are not on the computer on the weekends -- good on ya, gang.)

However, I can't get a handle on what you LIKE to read, topic-wise. I seem to get the most hits when I write fluffly, inane stuff about Fred and our marriage.

Really, y'all?

Why don't you like my charity posts as much as you like funny stories about married life? Why don't you like the rehearsal recaps as much as you like looking at my manicure? I'm trying to express some depth here, some facets of me that have gravity...and you're just not that into it.

YOU GUYS. 

I will continue with the Advent of Awesomeness, oh yes I will, blog hits be damned. 

 But - you do know that I am writing about charities that I have personally invested in, right? I want to make sure you know. I wouldn't use up my blog space and my readers attention on something I wasn't totally on fire about.

If none of my favorite causes are exciting for you, I urge you to check out

http://www.charitynavigator.org/

http://www.givewell.org/

http://www2.guidestar.org/

And if you wanna get dirt on charities that might not be legit, you can check out the Hall of Shame.

http://www.charitywatch.org/

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OKAY.

That's my PSA.

Please give me some feedback -- don't make me be the girl that posts videos of her cats every week. 

("Not that there's anything wrong with that!")

I mean, the internet already has plenty of cat videos, right?

 

Meet Eric Briarley

Today's Advent of Awesome entry is truly awesome and it was started by a choir mate who sits behind me with all those....sigh....TENORS and kinda (kinda?) talks when he's not supposed to be talking (which is to say...A LOT.) 

Yeah. That's right, Eric. I just called you out on the internet.

(hah!)

No, really.  He talks because he's excited and has exciting plans.

Check it out:

 

There's another cool video on his website DoYouHaveOneDollar.org

You should go watch it right now!

I'll wait.

(...)

Isn't that COOL?

A dollar is, like, NOTHING these days. However, if everybody chips in, it can mean huge change. And aren't you ready for a huge change?

I'm sure every person reading this blog has felt awful at some point in their lives for walking past a homeless person on the street. Maybe you've stopped to give them some money. Even braver, maybe you've stepped into a nearby deli and bought some food and then handed it to them. It feels weird, right? I mean, you hope the person will use the money well. Or maybe you hope you bought them a food item that they will enjoy...but how do you really know?

What if you are female, like me? There are some times that I feel moved to help a homeless man...but then I think, "Wait - this might not be safe!" I don't make a habit of approaching any men on the street, but - c'mon - the homeless ones are often murmuring to themselves. I don't think it is wise to walk up all by myself and start chatting, you know?

And sometimes - and this is the New Yorker in me - sometimes someone will approach me on the street and ask for help and my first thought is, "Of course! It would mean so much to me if I was in trouble" but then my second thought is, "Pull out my wallet? Right here on the street? Uh...NO."

Life is hard.

Won't you consider helping Eric with this incredible project?  See, the thing is -- this could go global.  Just think of how Occupy Wall Street caught on and started occupying other large cities...wouldn't it be fantastic if this project was a huge success and got lots of media attention? Wouldn't it be great if other cities started asking Eric to help them launch their own DoYouHaveOneDollar campaigns? 

It really boils down to this:

Why not make 2012 a year of unlimited abundance?

We the people can choose that for ourselves. We don't have to wait for policy-makers to say it is so.

Here's What you can do --

Easy Like Sunday Morning:

1. Go to Eric's personal webite. Like him on Facebook and/or follow him on Twitter and/or check him out at Reverbnation (...because you know "fan clout" is the media currency these days!)

2. Check out the The Bowery Mission website. Like them on Facebook and/or follow them on Twitter.

Get By With A Little Help From My Friends:

3. Go to DoYouHaveOneDollar and DONATE YER DOLLER!!

The Greatest Love of All:

4. DUDES. Spread the word. Link the DoYouHaveOneDollar website on Facebook. Tweet it. Blog it. We're on a DEADLINE here!! One million participants by Dec 31, 2011.  WE CAN DO THIS!!

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Advent of Awesome Hall of Fame

December 5 - Join the Voices

December 6 - Over The Fence and World Vision

December 7 - International Arts Movement

December 8 - DoYouHaveOneDollar and The Bowery Mission