I have two little "retreats" at the end of the summer in which I will be in a bathing suit in front of friends. Eek. Schlitterbahn with the family is one thing -- but the Hamptons? the Outer Banks? In front of people who are not required to love me as I am?
Hmmm.
I don't want to be horrified by the photos that will inevitably get posted on facebook, so I have taken to doing something that I have avoided for almost 20 years.
I'm tanning.
"But tanning isn't good for you!"
I KNOW. Here's how I am rationalizing it: 1) I'm getting old. I am turning thirty-cough-cough next month. I give myself an A- on conquering the aging process since I haven't been in the sun very much at all for most of my adult life. People often mistake me for being about 25 years old. However, my legs are getting a tad "vein-y" these days. Do you want to see my legs blue or brown? Because it's too hot for nylons and I hate self tanners, so you're getting 'em "as is" -- unfortunately. they aren't as cute as they used to be so I gotta do a little work here.
Do NOT put a self tanner recommendation in the comments.
Just -- stop yourself right now because I hate them all. I hate them all so much. Do you think I have gotten this far in my pale, pale life without trying hundreds of self tanning products? I've heard it all. I've tried it all. NO.
ahem.
2) My doctor said so. No, really! She was flipping through my files at my physical this past Spring and she saw some notes she had written in 2005.
Sidebar: I have always been a fainter. When I started experiencing some annoying and unexplainable exhaustion about 6 years ago, I had some blood work done. The result were inconclusive, so we're just "watching" my delicate state for now.
"How's the fainting and exhaustion these days, my little dramatist?"
"Actually, I'm pretty ok. I never sleep deeply, But I do sleep when I need to sleep. If I am up in the middle of the night because I napped from 7 - 9pm, so be it. I'm just focusing on letting go of stress and trying to get 8 hours however I can get it."
"And the fainting?"
"Only when I stand up too fast."
"Do you get out much? In the sun?"
"Oh gosh, no! ...MY FACE!"
"Well. You're very pale. It wouldn't kill you to get a little sun and fresh air. Put on some SPF 15 and try to get out more."
Then she closed the file and exited the room.
There you go. Straight from the doctor's mouth.
Good advice...?
This is what happens when I get "a little sun and fresh air" - hah!
For the record, I applied waterproof/sweatproof SPF 50 sunscreen every 2-3 hours -- look how pale the underside of my left arm is in comparison to the top of my right!
It's been a few weeks and now the burn has faded into a veeeeeery subtle touch of color. And I like it. I will never really have a tan, but a little color feels good. With that in mind, I have been letting myself sit in the park with a no-thinking book (as no-thinking books are the best Summer reading...) on Saturdays and Sundays. Just for an hour or two. Of course I don't intend to singe myself every weekend like I did at Schlitterbahn!
This vain little flower is more than happy to follow her doctor's advice. I call it "The Quest for Vitamin D" but who are we kidding, right? A tan is slimming. The only thing worse than getting caught in a bathing suit on facebook is getting caught in a bathing suit on facebook looking...er...less cute than you thought.
