Pursued by a Bear

Rules for Life

Writing about vacation has inspired me to share another one of my Rules for Life.

Oh - I know - Magic 3 and Pencil Test already out there(**)

Today's Rule for Life: Buffer Day

I can't truly take credit for this one. However, it is brilliant. I practice it religiously and so should you.

It started like this: a few years ago, my sister and her family were going to be at my parents house at the same time as me and Fredster. I was trying to coordinate all the flight times so my parents only had to make one trip to and from the airport.

Me: "So, we were thinking we'd fly home Sunday afternoon."

D: "No."

Me: "Wha...No?"

D: "Buffer day, Erin. We're flying home on Saturday because my husband requires a Buffer Day before going back the the office on Monday."

You guys? That is WISDOM right there.

Creating a Buffer Day between your last day of vacation and your first day back at work is, in my opinion, essential. It takes a big chunk out of the stress of traveling home. Lord knows the probablity of your flight getting delayed or cancelled these days is about 50/50. But it's okay -- Buffer Day!

Plus, I think it is just good for one to be able to unpack the bags, go thru the mail and mentally rest a bit before heading back to the old grind.

Buffer Day. Know it and love it.

"My life is hard. I require Buffer Days for my Buffer Days."

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**Okay. I know I've shared these. If not on the blog, then certainly in "real life" with some of you! Let's review.

Magic Three: Don't schedule more than three major happenings in a day. If you try to squeeze to many things in, you'll just experience the Law of Diminishing Returns -- and that's a waste of everyone's time.

Pencil Test: Can you stick a pencil under your breast or butt cheek? DOES IT STAY THERE? If so, it's time to do some planks and squats. Sorry. I know it's harsh, but the truth will set you free.

 

 

 

#72 - PB & Co

....The Pregnant Lady.

It's the name of this sandwich:

From Peanut Butter & Co.

Who knew.

Pickles and peanut butter...? SO GOOD together!

 

 

Downhill Racer

Remember when I said the rides at Schlitterbahn are rough?

I've got photographic proof, y'all.

As I mentioned before, we decided not to pursue the alledgely "hard core" rides in the Blastenhoff (yes...Blastenhoff) section of the park because it was a holiday weekend and HOLY COW...a four hour wait to go on a ride that lasts a minute?

I mean, yeah, it goes uphill (and that's pretty cool) but that doesn't warrant a four hour wait.

D learned too late for the planning of this trip that the Schlitterbahn resort lets its guests go on the rides an hour before the park opens. We've decided that NEXT TIME we will rent a few cabins and bring a whole slew of noisy family members with us and THAT'S when we'll go on the uphill Master Blaster - only when we can cheat and go on it before the park opens.

THIS TIME, we played in the wave pools.

We went on almost every tube ride.

We went on the Downhill Racer.

Seems harmless, right?

I have to admit, I got a little scared at the top of the slide as I was waiting for the lifeguard to give me the "GO". It's the only slide in the park that has you going down (a very steep) hill FACE FIRST.

D's husband, Big D, went first. He f-l-e-w down the hill.

Then I followed him.

Whoa!!

I flew, too! In fact - the above picture is off the Schlitterbahn website. We were going so fast that we couldn't get a decent picture of us going down the slide. Fast. I lost my water shoe and had to search for it in the "recombobulation pool" <-- that's what I call the area at the bottom of every slide. You know, where it takes people about 20 seconds to get their bearings like, "Okay. Um. what just happened? Right. Now I should exit. Where are my legs?"

I found my shoe and raised it victoriously to the applause of some on-lookers.

I got out of the pool and rejoined my family. We were chatting excitedly about the ride and debating over what we ought to do next...when D suddenly called to our attention that Big D was not talking. In fact, his face was white as a sheet.

"Dude, you okay?" I asked.

"No way. I hit my leg. I don't know how, but look" he replied.

That lump is only 3 minutes old.

Big D was all,

"I broke my shin! I broke it! That lump is...shin shards. I HAVE SHIN SHARDS IN MY SHIN."

And D was all,

"Okay? But you are walking. So. Probably not."

Shin shards.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

 

 

Schlitterbaaaaaahn!

Over the 4th of July weekend, I went on a road trip in Texas with my sister and her family. We went to Schlitterbahn. Yeah, I know. I just got back from Germany and I go to a waterpark named Schlitterbahn in a town called New Braunfels. 

The thing you need to know about my sister, D, is that she is FUN. She's the kind of person that was always really popular in school without trying. The irony, of course, is that she couldn't care less about popularity. She's just nice and happy and funny. People want to be around nice, happy, funny people!

Wouldn't you want to go on a road trip with THESE PEOPLE?

That's my fam, y'all. That video is a perfect encapsulation of what we are all about. When Fred first met my family, he was like,

"Whoa! Y'all are so...loud."

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But back to the Bahn!

Most of the park uses water from the Comal river.

This is me before I ate it on a big downhill rapids situation and swallowed a bunch of Comal River and was sick for a week and a half. My second morning in New Braunfels was ROUGH, people. In the worst sense of that word. I was all,

"D- I was just so sick in the bathroom. Maybe I shouldn't go to the park today?"

She put two imodium tablets into my hand and was all,

"Suck it up. You're going to the park."

See? We're fun!

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Speaking of rough...? The rides at this park are rough! I know the water SEEMS really calm in these pictures, but I can't even tell you how many wedgies and water-up-the-nose experiences I had over the course of two days. I stopped counting. 'Twas NUMEROUS and we didn't even go on the "E ticket" rides. It was a holiday weekend and all the lines for the big rides were crazy. Like, four hours waiting crazy. We opted for the "baby" rides and I still felt slaughtered by a few of the slides!

There we very strong currents upon exiting almost every ride. Ungraceful dismounts for all. I got a "thumbs up" from a teenaged lifeguard as I picked my swimsuit out of my rear after going down a speed slide -- thanks, kid -- and I saw one sopping wet and shell-shocked family exiting a ride with their toddler in arms and they were all...

"Yay! Tube rides are fun!"

...in that super hyper fake-y way that parents do to keep a kid from melting down?

The little toddler was all,

"NO, THEY'RE NOT."

hah!