Over the 4th of July weekend, I went on a road trip in Texas with my sister and her family. We went to Schlitterbahn. Yeah, I know. I just got back from Germany and I go to a waterpark named Schlitterbahn in a town called New Braunfels. My sister was like, "Oh look at all the cute little German buildings. This town looks like Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" -- Oh, heeeeey, sorry, you're probably sick of this scene..."
The thing you need to know about my sister, D, is that she is FUN. She's the kind of person that was always really popular in school without trying. The irony, of course, is that she couldn't care less about popularity. She's just nice and happy and funny. People want to be around nice, happy, funny people!
Wouldn't you want to go on a road trip with THESE PEOPLE?
That's my fam, y'all. That video is a perfect encapsulation of what we are all about. When Fred first met my family, he was like,
"Whoa! Y'all are so...loud."
...but now he fits in just fine. We missed him so much on this trip. His nursely services were desperately needed on more than one occasion - but more on that later.
FYI, the little girl in the video is my niece and the "urban community" reference in came into play just minutes before my sister started rolling the camera. We were having a (rare) quite moment as we approached Dallas and suddenly Little D piped up with,
"Mom! Is that an Urban Community?"
And we were like,
"Wha...? Nice SAT words, Millenium Generation."
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But back to the Bahn!
Most of the park uses water from the Comal river.
This is me before I ate it on a big downhill rapids situation and swallowed a bunch of Comal River and was sick for a week and a half. My second morning in New Braunfels was ROUGH, people. In the worst sense of that word. I was all,
"D- I was just so sick in the bathroom. Maybe I shouldn't go to the park today?"
She put two imodium tablets into my hand and was all,
"Suck it up. You're going to the park."
See? We're fun!
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Speaking of rough...? The rides at this park are rough! I know the water SEEMS really calm in these pictures, but I can't even tell you how many wedgies and water-up-the-nose experiences I had over the course of two days. I stopped counting. 'Twas NUMEROUS and we didn't even go on the "E ticket" rides. It was a holiday weekend and all the lines for the big rides were crazy. Like, four hours waiting crazy. We opted for the "baby" rides and I still felt slaughtered by a few of the slides!
There we very strong currents upon exiting almost every ride. Ungraceful dismounts for all. I got a "thumbs up" from a teenaged lifeguard as I picked my swimsuit out of my rear after going down a speed slide -- thanks, kid -- and I saw one sopping wet and shell-shocked family exiting a ride with their toddler in arms and they were all...
"Yay! Tube rides are fun!"
...in that super hyper fake-y way that parents do to keep a kid from melting down?
The little toddler was all,
"NO, THEY'RE NOT."
hah!
