Remember when I said the rides at Schlitterbahn are rough?
I've got photographic proof, y'all.
As I mentioned before, we decided not to pursue the alledgely "hard core" rides in the Blastenhoff (yes...Blastenhoff) section of the park because it was a holiday weekend and HOLY COW...a four hour wait to go on a ride that lasts a minute?
I mean, yeah, it goes uphill (and that's pretty cool) but it doesn't warrant a four hour wait.
D learned too late for the planning of this trip that the Schlitterbahn resort lets its guests go on the rides an hour before the park opens. We've decided that NEXT TIME we will rent a few cabins and bring a whole slew of noisy family members with us and THAT'S when we'll go on the uphill Master Blaster - only when we can cheat and go on it before the park opens.
THIS TIME, we played in the wave pools.
We went on almost every tube ride.
We went on the Downhill Racer.
Seems harmless, right?
I have to admit, I got a little scared at the top of the slide as I was waiting for the lifeguard to give me the "GO". It's the only slide in the park that has you going down (a very steep) hill FACE FIRST.
D's husband, Big D, went first. He f-l-e-w down the hill.
Then I went.
whoa!!
I flew, too! In fact - the above picture is off the Schlitterbahn website. We couldn't get a decent picture of US going down the slide. Fast. I lost my water shoe and had to search for it in the "recombobulation pool" <-- that's what I call the area at the bottom of every slide. You know, where it takes people about 20 seconds to get their bearings like, "Okay. Um. what just happened? Right. Now I should exit. Where are my legs?"
I found my shoe and raised it victoriously to the applause of all the on-lookers.
I got out of the pool and rejoined my family. We were chatting excitedly about the ride and debating over what we ought to do next...when D suddenly called to our attention that Big D was not talking. In fact, his face was white as a sheet.
"Dude, you okay?" I asked.
"No way. I hit my leg. I don't know how, but look" he replied.
That lump is only 3 minutes old.
Big D was all,
"I broke my shin! I broke it! That lump is...shin shards. I HAVE SHIN SHARDS IN MY SHIN."
And D was all,
"Okay? But you are walking. So. Probably not."
Shin shards.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
