Fred: "Hey, what time does your flight land in Germany?"
Me: "7:40am"
Fred: "Oh, cool. So we can drive back to the base and make it just in time for church."
Me: "Are you kidding me?"
Fred: "Well, depending on our Christmas plans, it might be the only Sunday you can go!"
Me: "Um...I will have just flown for eight hours, followed by a ride in the car for two...and you want me to immediately go to church? Without checking into the hotel first? Without taking a nap? or even a shower?"
Fred: "But..."
Me: "NO. I'm telling you, after traveling overnight to a time zone 6 hours ahead of me -- NO."
Fred: "But..."
Me: "Don't make me put on a fake smile for all your friends."
Fred (churchy voice): "You shouldn't feel like you have to put on anything."
Me (directly): "Hi. I have boundaries. My plans involve a shower and a nap."
Fred: "Hmmm."
Me: "Unless...."
Fred: "Yes?!"
Me: "You change my reservation from this:
to THIS:
...Then we can talk about going directly to church from the airport."
Fred: "DOH."
Me: "Do we have a deal?"
Fred: "...."
Me: "It is what it is, Poo."
Fred: "Sigh...what was your reservation number again?"